Wednesday, August 26, 2009

scene 3, part 6

So tonight I have no idea when I'm actually going to get back to the house, therefore, I'm writing this now. Tonight we are all going to Chili's. If you are reading this and you aren't coming, you are a loser. Then I'll get back and go riding. I've decided that I don't care if it's raining or not, heard that it was going to. I love being out in the rain so I'll probably go out anyway. My body aches from all the walking/riding yesterday held. However, I'm glad that I'm doing it. I really didn't think I would get out and exercise and I'm glad that I am. My goal is that over the summer I'll be able to play soccer with the kids and actually run back and forth across the same field I played on as a little girl. To not be able to make it kills me. I used to be so active.

When I get angry I listen to really hard core rock screamy music. I enjoy rocking out to this kind of music because it gets my feelings out. It's a way to express myself. Well yesterday I began to listen to this music and just click random videos related to whatever I was listening to on youtube. Today, even though I'm no where near angry, I've been enjoying listening to it still. Some of the songs are great! Some...not so much. One video scared the crap out of me! However, today has been an amazing day. Hot, yes. Tough, yes. Constantly busy, yes. But amazing. Why you ask? Because I'm myself. I'm happy Kelli. I couldn't stop moving all day! I've been bouncing everywhere and constantly singing the most random songs ever.

Today a guy was at band filming us and I heard a couple girls come over to me all excited about it and saying they thought his shirt said ESPN. I said oh did it? Andrea said come on Kelli how could you not notice? Um..I don't know. It just wasn't important to me. I love watching people being so excited about being on tv or on the jumbotron at games. I miss the excitement of it because I don't get that excitement. I've been on television countless times for many many reasons. No I don't mean I was in the background or anything. lol I was on television. I've been in the newspaper many times. For a couple of months my senior year it was about once a month that my picture appeared in the Rankin Ledger or the Clarion Ledger. I've been on the radio twice. I've been front stage center in plays. I used to sing solos in middle school in front of a lot of people. (I don't anymore) I guess what I'm trying to say is I'm used to the spotlight. It just isn't a big deal to me. I mean I definitely enjoy the spotlight at times. I mean come on I wanted to be an actress. I just wish the excitement was still there. Now in plays, yeah I'm still very excited. lol

I was born to be in the spotlight. I love it. I enjoy every minute. I don't freak out or make a big deal out of it. But I love it. The moment the curtains open sends chills through my spine. Being the first person the audience sees makes me so happy. I enjoy putting on personas and becoming other people. I have many different voices that I speak in. I can duplicate a lot of Disney voices. I enjoy all things acting related. I love that from the second the lights shine on the curtain and I can see them highlighting the bottom of the stage, peaking in, I become someone else. I am not Kelli. I am whatever character I am playing. The audience fades away. It's just me and the stage. It's me trying to do the best that I can. Oh what I would give to be in drama and plays here. I truly miss the stage, the lights, the people, the audience, the consumption of another person, and all the hours of practicing it takes to get there.

I hope you have a great day!! Love Always, Kellbelle :D

No comments:

Post a Comment