Wednesday, August 12, 2009

scene 1, part 3

So today I was in the car for most of the day and it gave me a lot of time to think of many things. For one, i thought more on love. However, we'll get to that later seeing as that's the longest topic really. I began to wonder earlier, say you were about to get raped or something ok? If you said Hey I have aids. or some other std, however i cant think of any others right now, Would they still want to rape you or would they kill you or let you go or what? That puzzles me... hm. lol. I have no idea what made me think of this, but somehow I did during that 45 minute wait at the arm specialist's office.

Also I went to the mall with my mom to try to find some jeans and somehow I ended up trying on swimsuits, the devil's happiness. I asked if I was too fat to wear a certain bikini...being that I've never owned a bikini before and showing that much skin freaks me out. She informed me to never tell a guy that I think I'm fat because then they'll never like me. ....Woops. Oh well. lol In my opinion a guy should 1. like me for me and 2. understand that every girl sometimes feels fat and sometimes feels super skinny and glamorous.

Someone asked me earlier what kind of guy I actually liked. I kind of thought it funny. Because honestly, it is funny. Who do I look at? The gorgeous guy with a chiseled chest. Oh yeah. lol. It's always been like that. Who do I date? The not so chiseled chest dreamy guy. To me he's always dreamy of course. Love does that. When you're in love, even the ugliest guy is gorgeous and the worst guy is the best. I like the Best-Friend-Guy. All you girls know what kind of guy I'm talking about. He's the goofy guy who always is the best friend and never the boyfriend. lol. Every guy I've ever dated has been the Best-Friend-Guy. What can I say? Old habits die hard. I guess I'm just the kind of girl who likes to have a friendship first. Where can the relationship go if there is no friendship behind it? That's my belief anyway. So there you go. I've answered your question.

I talked yesterday about love and how great it is and all, but I wanted to focus on another side of it today. What about those people who are in love with someone and that person doesn't love them back or doesn't know? Unrequited love. It's such a horrible phrase. However, there are so many among us who have or are currently experiencing this. It's a sad situation. When you love someone so much and only want them but they don't care that you even walk on the planet. Or maybe they love someone else and only see you as a friend. Or worse, they think you're a best friend and talk to you about the person they're with and how horrible they are to them. On the one hand, I'd say hey go for it. Just tell them "Oh by the way I love you and have for months ok? Thanks. Um. Bye." But honestly, I'd NEVER be able to do that. I'm such a wimp at things like that. I have my few moments in history where I've come on strong (2 to be exact) but yeah. I couldn't do it. I especially feel bad for those who love someone and the other person knows and just doesn't care. Unrequited love is probably the worst feeling and the best feeling tied together. Because on the one hand you are happy because you're in love and you're happy when that person is happy and you want them to be happy at all costs. But. They say things and do things that completely trample on your heart. It's just a sad scene.

Sometimes I find it amusing that a lot of men think that in order to be romantic they have to do some outrageous dinner and flowers and a movie and spend a lot of money. I find it amusing because to me, yeah sure that's romantic but I'll just feel guilty for you spending all your money. Now once in a while it's a good thing of course but not all the time. To me, romance is the little things. If the guy sends a text in the middle of the day just to let you know he's thinking of you, that's romantic to me. It doesn't have to say "I'm thinking of you." It could be something simple like "Hi." That alone tells me you're thinking of me. Or when a guy tells you he misses you or loves you or if he isn't to that step yet just saying I like you or You are beautiful. It's very romantic to me. Flowers are always good too of course. Not for an occasion or anything, no birthday or Christmas, just because you like me. I informed someone last night that sometimes one of the most romantic things is when a guy kisses your forehead and runs his hands through your hair and holds you close. He's not kissing your lips or anything. He's being soft and sweet. It's a special moment. Romance doesn't have to be showy. It's perfect when it's small but meaningful.

Love is the most important thing to me in the world. Love for God, friends, family, co-workers, lovers, and even strangers. Love makes the world go round. Without it, where would we be? I am passionate about many things, but I am the most passionate about love. I'll continue to try showing it to anyone I meet. It makes me happy to make someone smile. If I've made one person happy in a day then I feel I've done my job. So I'll leave you with an inspiring quote by my friends the Beatles. "All you need is love."

I hope you have a great day. Love Always, Kellbelle

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