The rain has poured for two straight weeks. Unending and undying. Water dripped from everywhere as if someone had been crying their heart and soul out. Their happiness must have been hidden for patches of sunshine would come through and then get covered by clouds. Why isn't the person happy? Why do they cry? What has made them happy for small increments throughout two weeks and how can the happiness be restored?
After a long and confusing night and only thirty minutes of sleep in the past 34 hours, I bring you my weary and out of place thoughts. However, most of them are too painful to write down. At least on here anyway. Or too confusing rather. My head was a jumbled mess for so long and my heart a black hole. Today after a very long morning of just lying on my bed pondering, I realized the truth. The truth I'd been wanting and praying not to get for so long. The truth that someone was not who I thought they were. Not in the least.
I have now done what I must. I have done the only thing that I could do. I have done the one thing I didn't want to ever have to do. I have done the most painful, heart-wrenching, self-gratifying, wonderful, confident, amazing, sad, agonizing, complicated, self-fulfilling thing that I could do. My life surely shall be better for it. In the long run at least. Not now. But eventually I will be happier.
Today the sun shone. The clouds were white and fluffy and soaring through the blue sky. The brightest and most amazing sight my eyes had beheld in a long time. My eyes closed when I first stepped out into the light for it had been gone for so long. You see, the light had been gone for such a long time, that the poor person cried and cried. Then last nigh,t realized that they were too good for whatever they were going through. The sun beamed down like a flashlight in the darkness in the early morning hours of the day. Then the true miracle happened. A beautiful sun appeared and that person was happy once more. Not a small patch of light, but rather a grand and beautiful and majestic light shining down to restore lost confidence.
That was when I thanked God for the wonders He has placed before me. The wonderful people that I love to be with who could never hurt me. The wonderful family he bestowed upon me. The wonderful world he placed at my feet. And the wonderful feeling inside of me as I realized the darkness was over forever. Thank You, Lord, for it is You who I am grateful to. It is You whom I love more than any person on this earth. It is You, Lord, who I serve. And it is You, Lord, who I could never sell myself short for. For You are the one who made me and You make no mistakes.
I love You, Lord. Love always and eternally forever, Kellbelle